Had a casting session today, and it went great. Right afterwards, I got a phone call. It was from a girl I went to law school with, "Becky," but hadn't talked to in years and years. Becky was one of the few hot girls at Duke Law when I was there, and I never fucked her and it always kinda pissed me off. Granted, it didn't upset me enough to actually put in the effort required to fuck her, but nonetheless--when I was drunk I did hit on her, and I would not have turned it down were it offered.
The conversation [parsed to the entertaining parts]:
Tucker "Becky? What the hell are you calling me for?"
Becky "Tucker, hey how are you doing?"
Tucker "There is a zero percent chance this call does not have some ulterior motive."
Becky "Tucker! Ugh...well, my roommate is an actress, and she is reading for a part in a movie, and she showed me the script..."
Tucker "I KNEW IT!"
Becky "Tucker, I cannot believe this. First off, congratulations on being a big movie producer. And the script is hilarious. It really is just like you guys were in law school. She couldn't believe that a person like SlingBlade was real, but I assured her, indeed he was, and that the script portrayed him very accurately in all his dysfunctional splendor."
Tucker "Thanks, but you already missed your chance to fuck me Becky. I'm a star now, you're going to have to stand in line with the rest of the gold diggers."
Becky "Tucker! You know the only reason you still want me is because I didn't put out."
Tucker "Please. Is your roommate hot? If not, tell her not to waste our time."
Becky "Star or not, nothing has changed with you, has it? Yes, she is very hot. One thing though about the script--I don't remember you being that cool."
Tucker "Eat a dick, bitch."
Becky "When are you coming to NYC?"
Tucker "All next week, for casting."
Becky "Let's get together for drinks."
I have known Becky for ten years. Since 1998, the year I started at Duke. I think this is the FIRST time she has ever invited me out for drinks.
And here I thought the gold diggers would at least wait until we announced the cast.
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