We wrap principal photography on my first movie in two days. As soon as we wrap, I am getting in my car and taking my beloved mutt Murphy and driving back to LA to take a two week vacation, both from this blog and from life. This has been the hardest six weeks of my life, and I need a break. This post, and one more very special post on Friday and I will be gone until September 15th, when we'll come back with a vengeance, with posts about editing, distribution, and all sorts of videos and things we just didn't have time to get to during shooting.
But before I go, while I am still immersed in the middle of the stress and grind of shooting, I want to give my assessment of what the past six weeks have been like:
First and foremost, I want to make this very clear: I think we nailed it.
I had an image in my head of what this movie should be, how it should look and feel and what it should be. After all, this entire project began as my life, was brought into existence by my writing, and was driven forward and into a movie by my will. It began as nothing more than a dream I had, and as I sit here, having just seen us film all the scenes that I lived and breathed and wrote and dreamed about, I truly believe we did it, and we did it right.
Don't get me wrong--it wasn't perfect. There were details here or there that I thought were off, maybe a scene or two that didn't quite pop the way I wanted, things like that. No filmmaker has ever finished a movie and thought they got every detail in every shot right. But not only did we get all the big things right, we got almost all of the little things right, and I am pretty confident that the things I don't like are the types of things only I would notice.
Plainly put: This is the movie I wanted it to be.
But even though the project started with me, it absolutely would not have come into existence without the help of many, many people. People that I probably don't thank or recognize enough, so I want to take the time now to publicly recognize them.
First and foremost, I have to thank Bunny. She is my best friend and someone who has stood by me and helped me through all the aggravation and trials and tribulations and bullshit that it took to get this thing turned from an obscure website to a major motion picture. Even though she contributed a lot creatively, I probably could have replaced Bunny's creative input to the project, but never her emotional support. I am a very strong person, but no one could have gone through what I've gone through the past five years alone. She was my rock. Without her, I wouldn't be writing this, because I would have given up a long time ago.
A very close second is Nils Parker. I absolutely could NOT have replaced his creative input. Once the movie is out, I will post all the versions of the script, and you can see what I wrote by myself, and you'll see the evidence of just how crucial he's been. I didn't bring Nils on to doctor the script--he has put in as much or more effort than me and is every bit responsible for making this what is it. When we were lining up financiers, a lot of people couldn't understand why I was insisting on bringing on my friend not only as a co-writer, but as a full producer in his first project in Hollywood. That is NOT done in this town. Well, no one on this movie is asking that; in fact, I would bet that if you polled the cast and crew, they would say that, during the production stage, Nils has been more important to this movie than I have. And they'd be right.
Then there's Max Wong. Max brought me into Hollywood, taught me a ton, helped Nils and I learn how to turn the script from a 250 page rambling monolith, to something we could consider shooting. She was the voice of reason and experience, and has helped us creatively and businesswise, and most importantly, she and her partner Karen were honest and had integrity. That is very rare in Hollywood.
Aaron Ray has been, more than any other person, directly responsible for this project going from script to movie, and has helped Nils and I navigate the extremely complicated world of Hollywood deal making. The two biggest cliches in Hollywood are the great script that never gets made, and the writer who gets screwed by the system. This didn't happen to us pretty much only because of Aaron Ray. I think I am one of the very smartest people I have ever met, but Aaron is one of the few people I've ever met who I will admit is smarter than me. By a large margin.
I met David Zuckerman when I was still considering doing this project as a TV show, and I was lucky enough that David and I got along and he agreed to lend some of his extremely valuable time to help Nils and I with notes on the script. If I ever wondered why writers are paid so much, one set of notes from David Zuckerman made me understand. Even though he didn't write one word of the script, just by talking us through the general concepts of story and plot and conflict, David helped improve this movie--and helped Nils and I learn about screenwriting-- more than any other person. And he did it for no other reason than he liked the project and wanted to help. David is the type of person I wish I was more like; brilliant, kind, patient and generous.
What more can I say about Bob Gosse? Other than the fact I thank God every day we were lucky enough to get him to direct the movie, I'm not sure. EVERY financier (except Darko Entertainment) questioned our selection of Bob Gosse as director on this movie, and now that we are finished shooting, I have to say it: I told you I was right about him! Not only was he the right pick to direct this movie, at this point I can't even imagine anyone else doing it, and keeping it together. Bob had the impossible job of containing and dealing with Tucker Max on his first movie, and he not only did it, he made a great movie in the process, and taught me a lesson I needed to learn. I haven't written about it because now is not the time and this isn't the place, but Bob and I had our issues during filming. That story--the one about the movie behind the movie--is very interesting and will be told in full one day, but I will say this now: Bob saved me from myself, and in the process helped me more with life than he did with the movie. And he directed the movie...which should tell you how much I have learned from Bob Gosse.
For the rest of our lives, Matt Czuchry and I are going to be inextricably linked. He'll be the guy that the world knows as Tucker Max, and I couldn't be happier about this. He'll exemplify the best parts of me, leave the worst parts back, and in the process create a character that I think people will relate to and love. It's so ironic that a character that is based on an asshole will be played by such a great guy; kind, compassionate, empathetic and giving. Pretty much the opposite of me in real life. Oh yeah, did I mention that he did a fucking great job? I think I did. He's going to be a huge fucking star. I hope he's ready.
Jesse Bradford is going to steal this movie. Matt's the star and Geoff is the glue, but Jesse is going to fucking steal it. Just watch. I would thank him for doing such an amazing job in his role, but he's going to be such a big name after this, I think he can thank me.
Geoff Stults is still better looking than me, richer than me, more successful than me, and still has a hotter girlfriend than me, but I found something else out about him on this movie: He's funnier than me too. When Nils and I wrote the Dan character, we didn't make him all that funny because we thought we'd have to put a namey actor of marginal talent in that role to get financing. Well, it turns out that we got a star, and not only that, at least 50% of the funny lines Geoff has in the movie, he improved on the spot. Which has only reinforced my initial opinion: Fuck Geoff Stults.
Poor Sean McKittrick. He's aged ten years on this movie, mostly because of me. He's had to deal with the worst parts of me, and manage the movie, and focus on all the other things his company has going. By myself, I am a full time job. Without Sean (and the rest of the guys at Darko) this movie wouldn't exist, and in the end, he probably won't get anywhere near the credit that he deserves. Well, someone always has to get fucked, right? Bend over Sean.
Jen and Mike: I won't put their last names because I don't know if they want to be mentioned at all, but these two were the initial investors in the movie and were the first people to not just say they believed in me, they put their money where their mouth was. It's going to be a proud day in my life when they get their first royalty check.
Everyone on the crew: I won't go through and say something about each person individually, but I can't stress enough how great the crew has been and how much they have added to the movie. From the 1st AD and DP all the way down to the lowest PA, these guys have made it possible for us to make the movie we wanted to make. I would work with every single one of them again, and that's the highest compliment you can give in the movie business.
So to all of you: Without you guys, I would just be another asshole with a blog, instead of an asshole with a blog and a movie. I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you.
One last thing:
This is the movie I wanted, the movie I wished for. Everyone I just thanked came into my creative universe, bought into my creative vision, and did the job I asked them to do, in a better way than I could have done it and adding a lot of value in the process. If this movie succeeds, it will be because of everyone I listed above, not me. It may have my name on it, it may be about my life, but I will only deserve a very small part of the credit for success.
But here's the irony: If it fails, it'll be my fault only. If this fails, it'll be a failure of vision. It'll mean that it was rotten from the beginning, and nothing any of these people could have done would have saved it. They all, individually and as a group, did an amazing job effectuating a vision I originated. They not only did their jobs, each of them did an amazing job--they cannot be blamed if something was wrong with that original vision.
If success comes--and I think it will, in large doses--it will be because of all of us. But failure will be mine alone.
EDIT: Come back tomorrow, I have a very special post coming. You don't want to miss it.
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