I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell - June 4, 2008

This movie promises to be a treasure trove of memorable, quotable lines. Every new person we hire or attach to the project invariably tells us they laughed out loud reading the script and loved this line or that line, and rarely are those lines the same. Of course I can't tell anymore because I've looked at the script 100 times and seen half the scenes performed 20-30 times. Fortunately, Tucker and I are funny motherfuckers so throughout the movie-making process we say and write things that are objectively awesome. Very few have been quotable because, at least for me, my resting heartbeat of funniness is higher than the average person. To be memorable, something we say or write has to be fucking hilarious. The first of what I imagine will be many happened this afternoon.

For those who are suffering from significant and irreversible brain trauma and are actually worried about this, let me assure you that the movie is going to have plenty of nudity and sex. Shockingly, there is a downside to filming heterosexual love scenes: NAKED DUDES. It's not something you really think about unless you're a lawyer and you're preparing offers for male actors; like our production lawyer is/was today. This is an excerpt from an email she sent us this afternoon:

From: "Production Attorney"
To: Production Team
Re: IHTSBIH Actor Offers

Nils/Tucker/Bob - While I will need to have a longer discussion with Bob to get the full extent of how he plans to shoot the scenes that would require some nudity, for now I just need to put in a general description of the level of nudity and simulated sex scenes e.g. "we will need the actor to perform wearing only a frontal covering in __ scenes and to engage in simulated sex in ___scenes". We have to give them the scenes and [make sure they are] okay with showing their rear end and "side buttock on screen". If I can tell them we can agree that we will not show [their] genitalia or pubic hair that would be good...

Not fifteen minutes later, Tucker responded with his trademark brand of directness and certitude:

"I will burn the movie to the ground before I put a dick in it."

If funny stuff was like flowers, this sentence would be a rose and I would be pressing it between the pages of my dream journal.

Posted by nils at 6:30 PM