Fuck all this film 101 shit, here's a drunk story:
So, as many of the fine members of this production can tell you, I got SHIT-HAMMERED Friday night. That's my own personal term for it, but just so we're all on the same page here, I'll use the Tucker Max Drunk Scale and rate myself just a point or two over the "fucked-in-half" mark. I encourage anyone who was there to modify that claim as they see fit, (as per the scale, of course) because, truth be told, I remember very little of the evening.
According to eye-witnesses, I was throwing ice and sugar packets at anyone and everyone (Keri Lynn and Nils in particular), I poured out ketchup all over a table, I indiscriminately stole food off plates I had not ordered (apparently while employing the old "oh my God look over there!!" tactic) and tried to fight quite a few innocent by-standers and new friends alike. Luckily, I always have a smile on my face when I get this drunk, and, with a little help from Tucker's special forces buddy, (we'll call him "John"), I lived. But I was hurting pretty bad the next day.
Here is the entire text interchange that went on that night between my girlfriend (in LA) and myself. I read it the next day, because she told me to, thought it was funny, and figured I'd post it. It's not like, SUPER funny, but it's honest, and real and sometimes that's better. The parentheticals are my attempt to shed a little light where needed:
12:06AM
me- I'm fukn hammered,....
her- Aahhaha nice baby!!! I can't wait to get hammered with you!!
john, special forces, having stolen my phone- John the green beret says you are way too hot for a limp wristed dork. And hello.
me- That was my friend. He's a green beret.
her- You guys are funny. Tell the green beret I said hello.
12:22AM
John, having stolen my phone again- Green beret says your boyfriend is going to get guitar head from me.
me- Ignore that baby ;) (yea that's right motherfucker's, I use winky faces sometimes.... you got a problem with that, come see me.)
her- at least somebody's getting action
me- Seriously....!
me- I am sooooooooooooooo hammered. He really is a green beret tho....
her- What is that?
me-What? Green beret?? Its one of the most bad ass military classifications available to mere mortals....... Its like being JAMES BOND.
her- Ohhhhhhh!!!!!!! My bad
12:47AM
me- I'm so fuked up I tv (not sure what I was going for there, but that's what I wrote)
me-I think I better just go home.....
me- Jesus Christ I haven't been wasted since highschool.... (the word "this" was supposed to be in there)
1:07AM
her- haahha I love it!!!
her- my phone is gonna die soon so if I call you from a different number answer it.
me- the green beret just practiced some moves on me. I'm good tho.... (apparently I wouldn't stop bugging him to hit me.... until he did.)
her- Be careful!!!
me- I'm hoooooooooooooooo.......... (that's what I wrote. Your guess is as good as mine.)
1:50AM
her- Are you ok?
me- yes dear... I'll call you soon...
2:12AM
me- I'm gnna go to bed soon. I'll call you right b4....
her- What happened? Just call me later.
2:36AM
me- Ok
(I'm pretty sure I never called)
next morning......
11:48AM
her- How you feelin baby?
me- So hung over I want to die
In summation, I'm glad I got uncontrollably drunk, threw-up at least 7 times between the hours of 4AM and 2PM, and basically wanted to curl up in a ball and put a bullet in my skull all day Saturday.
Why, you ask?
For the same reason I'm happy to blog about these experiences: IT GOES WITH THE ZEITGEIST OF THE FILM. I'm an actor. That's my job.
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