With pre-production for the movie in full swing, I am now, for all intents and purposes, a professional screenwriter. And I love what I do. After having spent the entirety of my adult life in the law, I cannot imagine doing anything else ever again. I get to tell stories, I get to craft stories. I get to be creative, I get to create projects for my favorite entertainment medium--film. That does not mean, however, that I necessarily love the physical, mechanical process of writing. Sure, I enjoy it. It can be cathartic. It can even be entertaining when, like me, you are a funny motherfucker. But last night, I learned the difference between loving what you do and doing what you love.
Last night, Tucker and I went to the premiere of a new movie by an acclaimed writer and director. It was the first premiere for either of us, so we went as much for the novelty (and free food) as for the subject matter, which we both like. Well, the novelty wore off quickly. I've had better food at a Little League game. I've had better company there too. The people amidst whom we found ourselves as the sun set behind Hollywood were the most unsettling group of parasitic hangers-on I'd ever encountered. There were four of us standing around at one point and each of us felt like having a shower.
The movie? Well the movie was the single worst serious movie I have ever seen. It was offensively bad. It was so bad I can't even tell you why it was bad. It was unsettling. I couldn't get my legs under me and I was sitting down. I felt like I'd been jumped, tossed and tumbled in a dryer, and lashed to the deck of a crab boat. That's when I got a text message from my buddy August.
WHAT A GAME!
I thought for a second. OH SHIT, THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME!! Kansas vs. Memphis. #1 vs. #1. We had chosen the premiere of an awful movie with which we were almost completely unassociated, over what promised to be one of the best national championship games in recent memory. August's text message confirmed my worst fear. I checked the score on my phone. Tied. They were going into overtime. I showed Tucker and he nearly jumped out of his seat. We were watching the greatest failure of modern cinema when we could have been at a bar or, even better, AT HOME watching Kansas overcome a 9 point deficit with three minutes to play and defeat Memphis in overtime.
Anyone who knows me probably would not believe this story if someone other than me told it to them. I LOVE SPORTS. I went to every Oakland A's home game (that's 81 games) my sophomore year in college. I've been to bowl games, Super Bowls, playoff games, hockey fights, and NCAA tournament games. I've been to football games and hockey games on the same day. Normally, I am out of commission Thursday through Sunday for the duration of the NCAA tournament.
I drove home agitated, flabbergasted, confounded, and depressed. I LOVE TO GO TO GAMES!!! I LOVE WATCHING SPORTS!!! When I have free time after a full day of work, that is what I love to do. Of course I thought I would really enjoy myself at the premiere because I love what I do for a living; writing movies. Boy was I wrong. I had completely conflated the concepts of doing what you love and loving what you do. The distinction is even more important when you are killing yourself in the pursuit of what you do.
I promise you I will never make that mistake again. When I have some free time or a couple free days, I ain't hittin' up no goddamn premieres or industry events. I'm watching a game, having some beers, hanging out with my girlfriend, and playing with my dog. It's my way of recharging the batteries and refreshing the creative juices. It's no wonder so many people in this town burn hot and bright only to fade away just as quickly.
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