We started casting today. I can't talk about who the casting director is until the THR piece comes out (he's an A-List guy, cast some of the biggest movies ever, discovered some of the biggest stars in Hollywood, does an amazing job and we are lucky to have him), and I won't name the actual actors we read today (at least two are guys you would recognize), but I want to talk about what it's like to be a producer in a casting meeting.
I can't think of a time I ever felt so...awkward.
Don't get me wrong, all of the actors we read today were pros, all very good, all have been in big movies, and at least two of them we will probably seriously consider for a role.
But, man, it was just so agonizing to watch them perform. I don't know how to describe why, but let me try:
They have to walk into a room, cold, and in front of five people they don't know, perform a scene from a script they only got 2-3 days ago. They bare their souls in front of us, and we judge them like cattle. I actually went out of my way to be polite and accommodating to each of them, because I imagined myself in their place and to be honest, I'm not sure I could do it.
I know it sounds lame, but acting is hard. It is way, way harder than you can ever imagine until you get up in front of people you don't know and perform a role you don't really know in a way you aren't sure is right.
I don't know about you, but I know for most of my 30+ years, I thought actors were pampered, overpaid douchebags who whined and complained and did a job that was easy and that most people could probably do better. I was wrong (well, I was wrong about it being easy, most of them probably are pampered douchebags, though the guys we read today seemed like solid, normal dudes).
I know how hard it is to put your soul out there and then have it judged by an audience you don't know, but until today I hadn't respected actors as artists. It took me seeing and feeling them act in person to realize how wrong I was.
Also, for the first time I think I really realized that someone else is going to play me in a movie ABOUT ME. This is so weird. I watched a dude read my lines, use the exact words I have used, and then gave him a critique about, well...me. I had to explain what's in my mind when I hit on a woman and why he was delivering the lines with the wrong tone. I am not sure if it was the most surreal postmodern moment of my life, but it was close.
I don't think this has really sunk in yet: Someone else is going to use my name, say my words, act like me, in a movie about me that I wrote...and it won't be me. I am not sure how to even begin to digest this. There really is no precedent for this in my life. Someone else is going to use my name and my words and be me. The world is going to know Tucker Max as some actor, not as, well, Tucker Max. I can't even sort out my emotions on this yet.
On another note--Nils and I have spent about two years on this script, and hearing it read out loud by real actors was pretty cool. And I knew the dialogue was funny, but actually hearing the lines out loud and listening to them really pop was pretty awesome. This movie is going to blow up.
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