I was going to take the long weekend off, but I just got this email, and I have to post it. The first time I read it I actually thought it was Dane Cook bitching at me.
But after reading it again, I am 99.9% sure it's not. I'm taking my Su-Fi Army and going home? Come on, the real Dane Cook cannot be that lame. I have to admit, for a fake, it's brilliantly done. For ten minutes, they had me.
"Dear Tucker,
Hi, this is Dane Cook. First of all, I LOVE your stories man, and I was even thinking of calling my agent to get me a part in your movie. It sounds like your film is really gonna kick ass with my demographic, just like your book did. Your book ROCKS by the way, and I was thinking of basing some material on it for my next sold-out megaplex tour. Especially the Dog Vomit story, that is comedy GOLD man.
But I got some beef with you. Why you gotta bash me on your production blog. OK I'm gonna cite a passage from your FAQ:
"Doesn't everyone groan when 36 year old Dane Cook tries to play a hip mid-twenties guy? Yep. I don't want to be that guy."
OK- have you ever even seen my movies? In "Dan in Real Life" I'm a mature, married man. "Good Luck Chuck" I'm a thirtysomething bachelor. When did I EVER play a 23/24 year old? And even if I did, my fans would come out to support me in the millions.
I'm just a boy from Boston who grew up watching the Patriots and the Red Sox and worked his little tail off to be living the dream of doing what he loves for a living and filling Madison Square Garden, starring in major Hollywood films, etc. So don't you dare pigeonhole me as something I'm not.
Listen Tucker, we are both idols to the college and high school demographics, through our hard work and determination. We should be kicking ass together. Tucker Max and The Dane Train. We could be an incredible ticket. Instead, you gotta bash me like that? Imagine the money-making potential if we combine our fan bases, and you're letting it go to waste.
With all due respect, I hope your movie kills at the B.O. But you know how much bigger a success it would be with the Su-Fi Army behind it. For now man, you're on your own.
Peace,
Dane"
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